Friday, July 26, 2013

College Journal - December 6th, 1980 1:10 pm


Ha! I've missed two nights writing. Imagine that. One night I was tired, the other I was busy. More about that later. Maybe. I'm not structured anymore. Free, that's what I am.

Well, I should talk or write about that. Why? For the simple reason that there's nothing else to write about. Suffice it to say that Beth and I are " back together again." She called me up about eight this past evening and said she wanted to talk to me. I had no idea of what it was all about. Steve had told me that he had seen her earlier and she had told him she wanted to talk to me about our relationship. I didn't expect her to call me though. That was a surprise. I went down to her dorm room, number 703 in Verducci Hall. She greeted me warmly, sat me down, and we talked. About our relationship. About why I haven't called her since we watched Shogun together. About how she had fallen in love between then and now, but now that was over-by now she was close to tears. About how she wanted to know where we stood, if it was in a position that we could go out together. About her affection for me, despite the fact as she said that she had been cool to me during her recent liaison. (Truthfully, I had no recollection of her being cool to me. She cited an example when she didn't return my hello, but I don't remember that at all. And I think, nay, I'm sure, that that would be the sort of thing. I would remember.) While she was telling me all this, I sat there saying nothing. I nodded once in a while to show her I was listening-which I was, obviously. When she had finished, I told her that I had a hard and busy schedule this semester, but this semester would soon be over and it wouldn't be so busy the next semester. I told her I did want to see her. It seemed okay. So our conversation then turned to more light and mundane matters. At one point, I picked up her guitar and started to demonstrate my new-found ability to play some Beatles songs. She had a Beatles songbook from the 1967-1970 period, with arrangements identical to the songbook that I bought a couple weeks ago at the Beatles convention. I played Rocky Raccoon, the song I best knew how to play, and she tried to join me on flute or recorder for Fool on the Hill. Next I played Hey Jude, and after that I am the Walrus. By this time she had arisen from the bed, where we had been sitting together, and had opened her window and was looking out into the night. I took this as a cue that I was probably paying her too little attention, but I had to wait till I finished the song I was playing, because who knows what women think, but I'm not going to let it get the best of me. But after I finished playing, I joined her at the window. She smelled the same as she always did-that sweet perfume-y but utterly Beth-y the smell I remembered from when we first met a year ago. (I wonder what my "signature" odor is?) At the window he talked about astronomy, and war vs. Peace, and soon it got cold and we moved back to the bed and sat down together. By this time it was close to 11 PM and I began worrying to myself that I might miss the last chance showing of Holy Grail on KQED. As it turned out, I missed all of the movie and then some. I was sure she wanted me to cuddle her, but I didn't anyway. Why not? I have no idea areas. Lack of confidence? Maybe-earlier she gave me a brief lecture about confidence: specifically, that I must learn to find some. She told me they would be better to see each other non-exclusively-in case either of us met someone else. Did I take that opportunity to reply that this was the main reason for my not contacting her over the 15 months that we've known each other? That would have been the most honest thing that I ever told her. But I chickened out, and said nothing. In time, I told her that the room was a bit chilly (temperature-wise) and we snuggled up together. After dipping here and there, touching and trying to find a comfortable place to touch, we settled down on her bed and slept together. Or to be more accurate, we fell asleep together. No sex, just sleeping. That was still a first for me. I can now honestly say that I've "slept” with a lady. ("What's it like?"). We slept until 2:20 a.m. Her roommate, Cathy, had not returned while we were sleeping, and as I was scrambling out Beth wondered aloud where she was.
So I have her back again. What am I going to do now? Treat her like before?  (I already feel that I should have called her by now today, and I still might, should, tonight.) Or take her out? I think that I should take advantage of yet another reprieve. Yet, despite my feelings to the contrary a year ago October, I don't think she is ready to have sex with me yet. I've wondered that for months now, and maybe it's time I found out. I should see her over Christmas. While we were nestling together last night, several thoughts came to me: if my friends could see me now, particularly my non-San Francisco State friends. Eat your heart out, world. Another thought: ahhh I forget now. Give me a few minutes.

I got a letter from Sally R yesterday. A card, actually. In her previous letter she said she'll be coming back from Iowa to visit the Bay Area over the holidays. So in my last letter I asked if we could see each other (I think my exact words were something to the effect of we could play beautiful music together-literally, on flute and guitar). So in the card I got today, she said that she would be here in California from December 22 to January 2 or somewhere around that time. She said she would be spending most of her time with her parents live in Danville, but she would also be spending a lot of time in San Francisco, and she would like to get together with me. So I may have misinterpreted her that time in class when she told our TA Loretta that she had a boyfriend. She must've meant a friend who is a boy. If she has a lover-type boyfriend, he's apparently in Sioux City, Iowa and not here. Her card included her parents' phone number, and achieve wrote that I can call any time. I assume that by any time, she meant between December 22 and January 2. And I will call her between those dates. Does it mean something when a girl that you've only talked to as a friend before, and then moves out of the state, maintains a correspondence with you? I hope so. I wouldn't mind going to bed with her in the slightest, but it wouldn't make a difference in how much I enjoy her company if we never did. As long as there is somebody around who wants to be with me, that's all that matters. I am no ass-chaser yet.

I think I remember what I was going to say earlier. Another thought that crossed my mind while snuggling with Beth was this: I noticed that the date was December 5, 1980. It reminded me of what had happened exactly a year earlier, on December 5, 1979. That was the date of my second and last date with Renée B, who will probably go down as is the most physically attractive girl I ever went out with. Wasn't that a story? Was I not so utterly depressed afterwards? Am I still now, 367 days later? Definitely. She wasn't the girl for me, not in terms of personality and wealth of friends. That's what she coolly told me that night in the bar. Later she was a little warmer on the way to the disco. But afterwards, on our way home, I endured one of the darkest moments of my romantic life. She saw something in me, definitely. Helen told me that Renée found me cute and thin. One thing I often forget about that night is that my left contact lens had a hole in it. (I had no idea of that until a few weeks later, when I was getting ready to go to the Tom Paine-Tam drama reunion at the Kovac's house.) So that night with Renée, I suffered a bloodshot and irritated eye that ruined my dinner at the Casablanca that night, and to be fair, it was the cause of discomfort even earlier at the bar, when Renée told me that she saw me only as a friend. I don't recall that the bad lens-situation had reached its peak yet at that time though. Another important occasion that night was in the bar, while she was socializing all around the place, I drank my first ever complete glass of alcohol (white wine). God, she was beautiful. She split from me to smoke a joint with friends while I was working on the wine. I was happy to finish the drink-alone-but I declined the waitress’ offer of a refill. But as I said, December 5 was the night of our second date. Our first date was a few weeks earlier on November 15. What a night that was! As wonderful as the second date was woeful. The finest night of my romantic life. I wrote in my notes the next day that no matter how our relationship worked out, I will always treasure that night. Yes, the second date put a damper on it, but today I can look back on that night, satisfied that I can entertain a girl on a date regardless of whether she's gorgeous or not-so. I really was upset December 6, 1979. I lost Renée and had rejected Beth. I also remember on that second date that Renée gave me a lecture. She said I should know exactly where a restaurant is before I take a date there. I said nothing back, but hey, I didn't know where the Greenhouse restaurant was on the first date-did that matter? Well, that part of my life is over. Or is it? I can call Renée at her office if I want to. It's too long ago. She said a guy was coming in from Chicago. She liked him and maybe they would get together. Helen told me the three of us could get together over Christmas. So much goes on around me I don't know about. Fuck you, Helen, you deserting, snitching bitch with your Indian boyfriend. Married, I'll bet. Watch out for housewives, Helen. Watch out for Helen, Liz.

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